Philophobia
by Terrie V Little
Summary: *Karl/Solomon* Solomon recalls the past relationship he had with Karl before the events of his brother's death. Memories of his brother's fear of love draw him to question; was any of it okay?


**Philophobia**

_**Fanfic**_

**x**

**A/N:** This is a long fanfic and it includes some sort of short M-rated scene in there. Enjoy.

**x**

The weather had been chilly these past few days, a welcoming sign of the fall season. It was October, a good month and Solomon's favorite time of the year. Except, he wasn't too thrilled about it this year. Perhaps it was just the tension all around him dealing with Saya. Or, maybe, it was. . .

"Solomon,"

Startled, the blonde haired man turned away from the high window to face the one Chevalier who would approach him at anytime of day, on business or off. This Chevalier looked shy, but quite lovely, as he carried that feminine Vietnamese beauty to him, and the traditional long hair. Solomon could recognize him even through the darkness of the mansion. He did not look the least bit troubled. More relaxed than usual.

"Is everything all right, Karl?"

"Not quite." came the low and casual response of his brother, who stood beside him next to the window. Solomon, always sensing when something was wrong, turned to face Karl. It was probably his imagination. . . until all attention went down to Karl's right arm, the right arm that appeared to have lost its skin color and had become cracked. The Chevalier backed away immediatly.

"K-Karl, your arm—"

Scarlet gems were now locked with the emerald green as the sound of cracking glass was heard, growing louder and louder.

"I know," the demon was almost completely stone, now. "_Because you killed me_."

Watching in horror as his brother was becoming crystallized, Solomon felt himself glued to the floor beneathe him. The pain was only swelling up, until Karl shattered—

—"Karl!"

The man woke up to find himself still in his own bed, awake and alone, safe and secure. As usual. He didn't think much of it until he realized how lonely he was after a nightmare like that. It was a wonder he could still dream, even as a Chevalier.

He rolled onto his side.

Karl's scent was still there. . . It's been two weeks since his death, and the fresh aroma was still clear.

Chevaliers did not require sleep, only if they were under stress; Chevaliers would fall into a short coma to have time to heal or recover from whatever form of stress they were under. Karl, being the foolish and selfish man he was, was always under stress. No matter how good of a day it was, he had the most sleep out of the group. He did not look it, however, he was the type to always rest.

Solomon let Karl sleep in his apartment, more than once, since Amshel was too selfish to get Karl his own placement for shelter, and to top it all off, Amshel's excuse was "As a Chevalier, you must know the right places to nest for shelter. No Chevalier should ever require a 'home' to stay."

Solomon never minded or cared. Everything was all for Karl's well being.

"Karl. . ."

But. . . thinking about him now like he was even there was. . . selfish of Solomon.

The Chevalier moved his sore body to sit upright. Then, the aching began. He had forgotten about his half-formed Chiropteran legs, which were deeply wounded and still in their slow process of healing. At least, the pain went down. He was glad he wasn't under stress anymore, except the pain that he felt in his heart still bothered him.

Grief. A normal expression to the death of someone you loved. Guilt. Something Solomon was quite aware of by now. Loneliness? Definitely.

He did all he could to stand on his two hind legs, despite the weight difference, he managed to be well balanced. The legs weren't too tall, as they were still stuck between forming into his human legs and Chiropteran legs, but such wounds were slowing him down.

"Damn,"

He wobbled a bit as he approached the bathroom.

"If only Amshel were here to fix this. . ."

No. He couldn't wish for Amshel. That brother who betrayed him. . . Ever since Karl's death, he had distance himself from Amshel and the others, and did everything he could to help Saya. Without Karl, what reason was there now to stay with Diva and the others? All that was left. . . _was Saya_.

Memories with Karl still lingered, and burned like fire on his skin, yet he did not regret the memories.

**x**

It was 1917, when Karl met Solomon.

They were students in the same field, but Karl always figured there was something strange about Solomon, something different and in secret. Back then, Karl was different. He was like a child, forced into a career he did not want or care for, he was innocent and fearful of things he did not understand. That alone made Solomon envy him a little. Yet, this young man had come from a wealthy family in Vietnam, blindly chosen from the same place to serve in Cinq Fleche new project. Delta 67.

"You're Karl Fei-Ong."

Solomon, having been in charge of injecting some of the students from Vietnam with anti-toxic antidotes, for safety reasons, had spoken to Karl as he was about to give him a shot of the antidote.

The ao-dai worn by Karl at the time was white, and it was soon that he would have to change into the formal wear London would provide to them.

"Y-yes."

The needle stung only for a second, then eased as he felt liquid pour into his system. Solomon chuckled, enjoying the expressions on the man's face.

"I'm Solomon Goldsmith, I'll be working with you in the facility. It's a pleasure to meet you, Karl."

And that was that.

For a week Solomon did not see Karl, but when he did, he did not hesitate to greet him. It was due to Solomon needing a friend that he was excited to meet Karl again. Amshel was the only other man Solomon was allowed to speak to, never about personal things or his thoughts on the world, it was strictly business. When Amshel had allowed Solomon a chance at society, it was only to help choose the next Chevalier.

That was Karl.

For awhile, Solomon enjoyed his time with Karl as his partner. They shared laughs when experiments would go wrong or when jokes would be played on one another. For the first time in a long while, Solomon felt human again with Karl.

"I love you," Solomon would say, when they were alone in the lab. Not the sort of thing he would be caught saying to a man, yet, it was what he clearly felt for Karl.

This alone caught the Vietnamese by suprise.

"Wh-what?"

"You would say it if you meant it. I say it because it's what I feel." Solomon would fondle with the test tubes and bottles of liquid while Karl would clean the counters and clear the tables.

It was around evening time, when the violent sun had become its dangerous shade of orange, the lighting in the room would become dark and shadowed with that same shade. An obvious clear sign that it was October.

Karl blushed, "You really do joke a lot." he chuckled, turning his attention to the tables to hide his blushing, but when he'd turn around, somehow Solomon had come from three feet to just a couple of inches from him. It was a common sort of thing Karl was used to and did not question, as well as Solomon getting so close to him.

Karl leaned away enough that he was almost bent against the table. "S-Solomon, quit fooling around, we have to finish cleaning the lab. It's after closing so we better make use of ourselves!"

Clearly, Karl meant no harm in his tone, it was only obvious he was too flustered to fend Solomon off of him and his teasing. But Solomon clearly meant to do this.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to be long."

The same smile that always got to Karl; oh, how he wanted that smile to always be there for him on a horrible day. Caught off guard, he didn't even notice the hands that took a grab for his wrists and pulled him up enough against the man in front of him. Karl didn't speak for a moment, but drew his eyes upwards. The casual tone made it quite clear that Karl was unsure of what was going on. "Solomon, what are you doing?"

His eyelids lowered, "I wanted. . . to thank you, Karl."

"For what?"

The question wasn't too harsh, just confused of what answer awaited him.

"You were really kind to me and you're not at all like everyone else around here. If I had a brother, I'd want one just like you. Or, _a lover_, perhaps."

Karl blushed again, only he kept his guard up. Smiling, he looked away.

"Idiot. You're getting too emotional."

He freed himself away from Solomon, who laughed. "I'm just kidding; Excuse the intrusion. I didn't mean to offend you, Oh-successor-of-the-Fei-Ong family. If I knew you were afraid of love—"

"—I am not!" Karl snapped in defense.

"Yes, sorry." Solomon put a hand to his chest, then approached Karl once again. This time, his eyes glistened with true feelings as he spoke, "I really would like you to come with me tonight, though. I'd like you to meet someone."

Karl swallowed down the nervousness that built up. This man was truly starting to toy with his emotions. It was right then did Karl remember their times of intimacy, those nights of shying away from Solomon, and those unexpected kisses he'd recieve from him. It was not the sort of thing people would see Solomon doing, neither did Karl, but that last day of being human were to be cherished.

From then on, did Karl's life end as a human and onto the life of a Chevalier.

**x**

In 1920, the day of their first photoshoot with Diva, Karl had been so focused on life beside Solomon forever. Questions were raised about what they would do when the war between Saya and Diva was over.

Karl knew that Amshel wanted a world of Chiropterans, not humans, so it was natural to say that nothing human would be present, just a crazed world of Chiropterans. Sure, the shops and monuments would be there, but maybe things would be better. Solomon thought it'd be best to live in peace with his brothers, after their troublesome Saya was gone.

"You're not going to leave again, are you, Solomon?"

The man, dressed in his traditional garb, had leaned up against the beast of the night, who was locked in his true form until everything had been settled and done with for this month's mission; locating a new home to shelter Diva in her hibernation period.

"I have to. Eventually."

The wicked beast was more than a few inches bigger than the human-formed Chevalier in front of him. The concerned look on his brother's face told him something that Karl did not want to say. A strange form of love. . .

"I'll return here soon enough. Don't worry," Solomon held out his arms and allowed them to extend into web-like wings. But, before taking flight, Karl took a grab of his shoulder and lowered the Chiropteran to his level, then brought their forheads together. Solomon understood now. He regret having to leave his only best friend alone. "You take care of things here. I'll take care of Diva—"

"But—"

The echo of Amshel's voice was heard through to their ears. The call of a Chiropteran. Only heard by Chiropterans alone, and enough to tell Solomon that it was time to depart.

"I have to go."

Without anymore hesitation, Solomon took flight into the night skies once again. How good it felt to be on wings again, but then again, he didn't enjoy having to leave Karl like that.

**x**

For almost two years, Solomon did not see Karl, as always, until they ran into each other in Germany. The one good year of Germany.

Their greeting was not a kind one, as Karl was very good at giving the cold shoulder. It appeared that he was not happy about their departure in Vietnam, the place Karl was stationed to keep at experiments on Delta 67.

When everything was settled between them, Solomon found himself longing for more attention from Karl, who appeared more mature and more glued to his want for love from Diva. He spoiled her. Maybe too much, yet it amused Solomon. Karl treated her like a lover and a favored child. He did everything just to make her laugh and smile, never to cause violence.

Then it hit Solomon.

He was jealous.

It was three days after having to watch Karl spoil the hell out of their Queen that Solomon finally snapped.

Karl had returned from his hours of playing with Diva, keeping her entertained until Amshel returned, when Solomon pulled him into the room that once belonged to Diva. The set of the room had been made by Nathan, apparently new according to Amshel, with dolls and ridiculous looking clothes. The reason for having changing rooms; no electricity.

Karl was suprised when his brother had forcefully threw him against the wall and trapped him from having a way out. Not the usual manner of a Chevalier; it irritated Karl. "Solomon, what are you doing? I don't have time to be messing around."

"You can deal with it for a little longer."

The tone was enough to set Karl into a dark frenzy, letting his eyes flash red in a threatening manner, but he did not act immediately. His talons were raised between them. "You know better than to get in my way, Sol—"

Solomon hadn't expected it, neither did Karl, but he had forced their lips to lock. Obviously, Solomon never shared a kiss with anyone, never had the time to find romance until he met Karl. That single moment of intensity was extended, as Karl shared the same thoughts and memories as well. He allowed Solomon's tongue to slip into his mouth to explore even further, while Karl let his claw drop to the side.

He didn't know how to react properly. All nerves in his body went numb until Solomon began moving his hands further down to explore the hardening lump in Karl's pants. The touch startled him, and bothered him to an extend he quickly jerked Solomon's hand away. This was wrong. He never wanted to be in love with a man, nor be touched by one. He was too in love with protecting his Queen to focus on real things like sexual desires or love itself.

Still; why did he enjoy it?

"S-stop, Solomon, just stop—"

Karl was silenced as Solomon gently bit his neck, sending more waves of pleasure down his body and to his lips. Solomon began to gently flick his tongue across the soft pale skin while sliding his fingers into the man's pants to the hard flesh beneathe. He was quite a good size, and Solomon had felt much excitement to being the first to touch it.

Karl was silent, but was obviously in much bliss to Solomon's actions.

Suddenly, the sound of Amshel's voice and another's were heard walking down the hall. Their shadows were seen turning the corner and, still a good distance away, proceeding towards the foyer. They were discussing Delta 67.

Karl panicked, and for a moment he thought Solomon did too, only to realize that Solomon had only made the opportunity to drop to his knees and undo Karl's pants.

"S-Solomon, no!"

Karl had lowered his voice, but the obvious anger made it clear that he did not want to do this. Solomon didn't care. He put a finger to his lips and smiled, then engulfed the Chevalier's erection in his hot mouth. Karl rest his head back against the door, but was careful not to make the slightest noise as Amshel and another man were approaching to pass. His vision became hazed as his eyes rolled back. He couldn't take it. It felt _too _good, even for such a serious man like him.

Still, the Chevalier had fought his cries of pleasure, enough to make sure Amshel did not hear them. Knowing Chevaliers, their hearing was on top of that of an average human. Even the slightest whimper would catch Amshel's attention.

Solomon worked slowly to avoid the noisy sloshing of his mouth and the thrusting of his hands that worked back and forth along Karl's length. Both their eyes were glued to the shadows, which passed the door in quick haste. At last, the men were gone.

"Nngh." Karl breathed out his moan as quietly as he could, then looked down to see his erection in Solomon's mouth, a sight that brought him to his climax within the few minutes of watching.

"Ah. . ." Solomon did not remove himself from Karl, swallowing down what he was given with dangerous greed; getting familiar with the taste just for a second.

Karl never really experienced an orgasm before, and it felt _wonderful_.

Everything had been done within just a couple of minutes, but Karl could have sworn it was much longer than that. He let himself drop, and it was not easy having to stand just for that, then glared at Solomon coldly. "You're terrible."

"Yes, but you enjoyed it." Solomon's emerald eyes glowed in the dark, before turning their deadly red. He leaned over and kissed Karl on the cheek, the Chevalier flinched as he swat him away. That little kiss; felt like some sort of mock.

Neither of them spoke for awhile as they sat in silence.

The creaking of the door alarmed the two that they picked themselves up to see that Diva was standing there. She looked just as surprised as the two of them, then smiled so wide that she let out a laugh. "Is this where you two have been hiding? Come play with me!

**x**

Since that day, there was always some tension between Karl and Solomon. Neither spoke of it or, even _the year_. It _did_ give them time to mature and see things differently from when they were humans, and enough time to bring them to 1943, the year when Karl was connected to Martin Bormann.

Solomon did not hate Martin, nor grow jealous of him, he highly respected the man as much as Karl. Martin was the only person to act like a big brother to Karl, and a best friend, since Solomon had distanced away from that role years before. The two grew to understand one another, being able to communicate the same way Solomon and Karl had once before. Then, on that same year, Martin's views became different from Amshel's.

This year was the year that Amshel finally snapped. His words, those cold words, still echoed throughout Solomon's life and he knew they would haunt him even in death.

"You're going to kill him for me."

His brother's voice had a hint of hatred and disgust.

"B-but. . . Karl—"

"What about him? Would you rather your oldest brother be happy than that experiment?"

"Yes, but, Karl is also my brother. Not an experiment. And Martin, he's my brother also, I can't kill family—"

The violent choice of action was the breaking of glass, a serious threat that made Solomon understand that Amshel did not _care_ about family. He did not _care_ if he killed his own sibilings or his own _kind_.

"I understand. . ."

During that time, things for Karl grew nastier and nastier. Solomon regret having to have destroyed Karl's happiness once more, but regained his friendship with him nonetheless. It felt as though Martin's death was the one to thank for all of this.

Then, the Vietnam War came, and now the present.

**x**

Solomon, examining his wounds, noticing that they were healing a whole lot better now that he was drinking a bag of stolen blood from Diva. Without the blood of a Queen, there was no way to heal from critical wounds on your own. So it was a good thing he found what he needed for the day.

He sat down on the long couch to think about all of the past memories with Karl. The laughs, the cries, and the pain. They were brothers, friends, and lovers. To kill that alone was enough of a bullet in the heart. There was really no one left now, but Saya. . .

"You really _have_ lost your mind, just as I have lost _mine_." the whisper of the Phantom was like listening to the words of a cryptic song about death. Solomon cringed. How he _hated_ the Karl under that mask. But, it was natural for the ghosts of his brothers to linger, it was natural grief, after all.

"Who said you were hallucinating?" The Phantom asked, stroking Solomon's chin lovingly before pulling away.

Solomon's sore eyes lowered to face the shadow that cloaked him. He wasn't afraid, nor did he care.

As the Phantom taunted him, he felt his body's full transformation from half-Chiropteran legs to full human legs take course. Relaxation hit him.

"You know, nothing will end happily for either of us, brother." Karl, dressed in that blue ao-dai, had been standing by the window of Solomon's apartment, with his hands behind his back in that casual way Solomon always loved. This was the Karl he missed ever so much.

"Karl," Solomon reached his hand out, but realized it was only a sitting plant he was hallucinating against. "I'm so sorry. . ."

"Sorry?!" he heard the familiar roar of the Phantom. Solomon's eyes darted to the darkest side of the room. "You're sorry?! How can we take this apology! You're a fool!"

"I didn't have any choice—"

"You never wanted us with Saya! She would have loved us!"

"You're wrong, she—"

"What do you know about it?!"

Solomon felt his head spin, and the images of blood and stone blood were coming into his head. Each time he would hear the Phantom's voice, the images would shake. He wasn't sure if this is the kind of madness Karl went through in his time of loneliness, or maybe it was an effect... of Diva's blood.

"You never wanted me with Saya." Solomon looked over to the windows again. Karl spoke with aching sorrow. "You always wanted me to be alone—"

"That isn't true!"

Thump.

Solomon opened his eyes to see that he had thrown the couch across the room. He was losing it. . . But even though he knew no one was there, he continued to speak. "That's. . . not true, Karl. I did it because Saya does not deserve to die. She is not our enemy, and you went out of your way to attempt to kill her, you weren't even ordered to do so. . . Karl, I left Diva because of what Amshel made me do. I left for you..."

This time, he did not hold his tears.

"I loved you more than you know."

"But you chose to kill me. That is enough love, isn't it, brother?"

Solomon felt Karl behind him, "You're alone, now, brother. What was the entire point of killing me?"

"To. . . help Saya."

"Yes, but in return you get nothing. . . only death."

"Karl, you don't get it, do you?"

The shadow crossed the living room back to the windows, but there were no words from his hallucination. Just silence. "I did everything to protect you, and the only enemy you had in the end was yourself. . . I couldn't let you harm yourself anymore, so it had to be done. . ."

Karl was in front of Solomon, now. He brushed Solomon's cheeks and gave him the most innocent of smiles.

"You make me sound like a dog that had to be put down. . . Solomon, what you are wanting now is what you had lost. . . It cannot be found anymore."

The sting in his words were the only thing that seemed real to Solomon. It was true, though, that he had lost the person he once loved but did it only to gain Saya's love. Neither would be won. What ever happens cannot be undone.

Sucking in the tension of his response, Solomon walked over to the window and stared out as the sun began to settle down behind the buildings. Leaning his forhead against the glass of the window, he felt his heart grow weary of shame and loneliness. There was no right way of saying it to himself but. . . he was lonely.

Without Karl, he'd sleep alone under the night, he would go about his days alone, there was no one else to talk to about daily things or personal matters that did not include Diva or Cinq Fleche's projects. It was all up to Solomon.

The ghost had embraced his brother before departing with one last word, "I love you."

Finally, Solomon fell to his knees, sulking in the bitter taste of guilt once again.

"Farewell, brother. . ."


End file.
